[ But whether it's because he feels like he might be asking too much, or because he just wants to get it off his chest, Mo Xuanyu follows the question with his own explanation first. ]
I really miss my mother sometimes. I haven't been back to see her since I came here, but she was always so proud of me. She had such high hopes for me. But I think... if I went back to her now, she'd be disappointed. I'm... not that skilled, or strong, or even brave. I'm not as good as most of the other disciples, and I've... messed up a lot. My cultivation is low, and I-- [ He hesitates, then changes what he was going to say. ] ... I'm still making the same mistakes I made when I was younger.
[ He'd hoped that becoming a cultivator would give him a chance to change all the things he hated about himself. But nothing's changed. Not even the most shameful secrets he's tried to hide in vain, that get passed around through whispers among other sect members the way a quiet breeze touches all the grass in a field. ]
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[ But whether it's because he feels like he might be asking too much, or because he just wants to get it off his chest, Mo Xuanyu follows the question with his own explanation first. ]
I really miss my mother sometimes. I haven't been back to see her since I came here, but she was always so proud of me. She had such high hopes for me. But I think... if I went back to her now, she'd be disappointed. I'm... not that skilled, or strong, or even brave. I'm not as good as most of the other disciples, and I've... messed up a lot. My cultivation is low, and I-- [ He hesitates, then changes what he was going to say. ] ... I'm still making the same mistakes I made when I was younger.
[ He'd hoped that becoming a cultivator would give him a chance to change all the things he hated about himself. But nothing's changed. Not even the most shameful secrets he's tried to hide in vain, that get passed around through whispers among other sect members the way a quiet breeze touches all the grass in a field. ]